Bittersweet Symphony

"Well, then suddenly

There was no one left standing in the hall, yeah yeah
In a flood of tears
That no one really ever heard fall at all

Well, I went searchin' for an answer
Up the stairs and down the hall
And not to find an answer
Just to hear the call
Of a nightbird singing "Come away"

Just like the white winged dove
Sings a song, sounds like she's singing
Ooo, baby, ooo
Said "Ooo"

You know its the most tender, loving, bittersweet, aching feeling to rock and cuddle your baby whose just not a baby anymore and realize that the cuddles are going to end soon, she is soon to be two years old and that will be your last baby you get to rock, your last baby you get to smell and cuddle. Your last baby that will grip you tight when you hold them even tighter. Hard night tonight.This situation has without a doubt made me not take a single moment for granted with my kids and has really opened my eyes but as much as that is a positive in the situation that doesn't make the pain go away. I went to being strong today, positive, feeling like i understood that I don't understand the reasoning behind this now but I will one day to just emotional. I fell like I am becoming that "broken mommy" the one who will like cling to ever child they see because I am longing for something that I cannot have. I dont even know what more to say.