166 days

I guess this is another blog in which I catch everyone up on what has been going on. My husband and I have been working on our marriage. If I have any advice for a successful marriage it would be to never let anyone have a right to a place inside of your marriage. Defending one another is what keeps you strong. It is like my therapist says you can't have a marriage off of 50/50 because no relationship will last on 50% and going on 3 years of marriage I would say is more successful then most.


I am very encouraged by her she has this amazing perspective and is so close with her walk with God. She encourages me to live under my values and I have been slacking in this. I have realized that my unhappiness has come from being forced into relationships with people that don't care for me. I will be taking a step forward into not giving people an opportunity to live in my life if they will not be positive and encouraging. All this negativity really brings me down and I don't believe that I have to live that way. If something or someone makes you unhappy then change it. Family included.


I am very disappointed in the way some of my family has chosen to act of late. All the judgements really have me thinking. Most of them do not even have to do with me but negativity is negativity none the less. Life's journey is about finding a way to become the best person you can be. Everyone fails at this and some people don't even try. There is a lot of people I have let stay in my life out of the fact that they are "family." I don't believe this anymore. Family are the people that love and nurture you, take care of you and are only positive and encouraging. If someone can't uphold that then they have no right or purpose in my life. People make mistakes and as long as people are making a valiant effort to uphold those values then that is okay by me.


I want to teach my kids how people are treated. How to value not only other people but yourself. It is so important to not allow others to treat you in a manner that makes you feel less then you are. No one has the right to belittle you. I am one therapy session away from graduation and I honestly cant believe in just 6 short months I have accomplished all of my goals. *happy dance* I still have a lot to work on to make my life better for my family but kids and husbands are patient.

I am very proud of my husband who has decided that he wants counseling for his porn addiction. Him getting help will encourage me to look at him in a more positive manner. All the destruction in our marriage has made me feel not only less connected to him but less respectful to him. Respect is earned. My therapist asked me why I have decided to stay with him through three years of addiction and what should be considered cheating. My answer was my values. Just because he broke our vows does not mean that I should be forced to break them as a result of his behaviors. I believe in marriage whether he is upholding that or not. I am trying to make me a better person regardless of the choices that other people make.