“Every saint has a past, and every sinner has a future.”―Oscar Wilde
Today my husband and I went out on a date. Our second real date since our daughter was born. On our way to eat lunch I saw an ambulance. It was a really hard trigger. I instantly had a flashback of being in the ambulance. It was the first time I had ever been in one. After lunch we decided to go shopping and on our way to check out there was a big display of cold medicine. I turned around to look at the other side and I saw the exact same aspirin that I overdosed on. I pretty much turned my head really quick, grabbed my cart, and walked as fast as I could in the opposite direction. Those things are hard. It is still hard even being around more then three people at a time, especially if I know they already knew what happened and are just too shy to say anything about it. It creates this thick air, an awkwardness. The kind of awkwardness that everyone always tries to avoid. I hope in time it will be easier. My husband asked me last night if he could read my blog. I was very hesitant. This is my safe place, the one anonymous place I have to freely speak exactly how I feel whether it is blunt, over-dramatic, erratic, or abnormal. It is the one place I have to be open. He read it all. I thought it was important for him to understand the things that I could never put into words. I can write them down but that is far from saying them. I am just taking each day as it comes and not looking too far into my life. I am taking one step at a time. I don't plan things later in the week or even more then just tomorrow, if that. 19 days<3.
On a random note I am very excited for my birthday :) 15 days...Oh the simple joys in life.
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