Trying to post more but sometimes it's just hard to find
the words. I am trying to remove all the negativity out of my life
because I am just tired of only hearing negative things. I am trying to
make new friends because apparently I can't count on most of mine. I am
just kind of done with all of that. People have to realize that what
they say affects other people. Its been an amazing month but also a
shitty one. Apparently none of my family give a shit anymore except for
my auntie and grandma. My family has gone back into the rumor mill and
choosing to either be an asshole or ignore me and I just don't have time
for that. Just sucks that my whole entire family moves on at once.
It's hard not to feel abandoned by my blood family. How do you just move
on from a child you gave birth to? Or move on from your only daughter
(in my dads case)? Just kind of over it. If I would have known being an
adult meant that your family was too busy with their own lives to care
about yours I dont think I would have made it to adulthood. Oh well at
least I know that's something I would never do to my own kids. I dont
know its just pretty sad when you talk to someone and the words I
haven't even gotten drunk emotional phone calls come out of your mouth
whole heartedly. I guess some people just don't care and if they don't
care then why should I? The only people that I considered true family
here just moved away. That was hard at first but I am used to being on
my own. That's kind of always been how my life has panned out. So i am
not very sad. Just hoping they find what they are looking for out of
life. I just pray that my kids get love from their outside family. Thats
what family is supposed to be about and yet most of mine either haven't
even seen my kids or have selectively. I'm just over the word family.
Family my ass. Family isn't about blood, its about who loves you enough
to stay involved.
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