Fear of Life

“The fear of death follows from the fear of life. A man who lives fully is prepared to die at any time.”―Mark Twain


I normally post every day and try and keep the mind set to just let my feelings out so that I can sort through them, but yesterday I had no understanding. I really don't get anything in life right now and the realization of the world just makes me more upset.




Yesterday I found out that one of my very close friends from high school killed herself. She died at 9:30PM on January 7, 2012. There are so many of us in life that feel like there is no other way out. That feel like we must take our lives in our own hands and end our suffering. So many of us wish that she would have opened up. I feel like little by little the world fails us all.

We are taught that suicide is something that we must be silenced about because if we open up then we are "promoting" the opposite of the cause. I wish I could have helped her. I know the pain of wanting to take life in your own hands. She inspired me so much in life and she will never be forgotten. She was beautiful and talented. She had the voice of an angel. We all want to take away the pain. There are so many people that walk through life without knowing that they affect people whether it be negatively or positively. Beauty is often blinded. The one's that appear the strongest are the one's who feel the most pain.

I called my mom to let her know and I honestly cannot believe the nerve that my mom has. All she said was, "Guess she couldn't hack it, she was just weak. You're not though." I wish that this wasn't a joke for people. People believe that suicide is a call for attention and maybe in one form it is. No one really wants to die, we want to be saved. We want for someone to reach their hands out and say your life is worth enough and sometimes no matter how many people say it to your it is just not enough. Sometimes it is not the right people saying those words and sometimes words just aren't good enough. You can't tell someone that you love them and then have your actions project the opposite.