I am trying my hardest to stay positive after these last few days. Right after we applied for a house we found out that while my husband is on his winter lay off from fire fighting (because the weather is too cold and erratic for them to work) that we will not be able to get unemployment because he was already on it this year. This means that we will not be able to move or get our daughter back until taxes. Luckily we have enough money to get us through so that we will be able to pay our bills until he is back working or we get taxes, whichever one comes first. It just feels like as soon as something good happens we get thrown three steps back again. We did not even end up getting the house so it wasn't like we had to turn it down.

Thanksgiving was nice but hard because again I didn't get to see any of my family. I called my mom and my sister to wish them a happy thanksgiving and I found it really hard to talk to my sister. I was almost in tears. I really hope that one of these years we have enough money to see them on an important holiday.

Lately my son hasn't been sleeping well because he has been sick so between my insomnia and him being up half the night I haven't been sleeping. My hair pulling is worse then it has ever been. I am seriously so shocked that I even have any hair left on my head!! My husband keeps telling me to just stop as if it is that easy. I wish it was but its worse then an obsession its an impulse that I don't even notice anymore and even when I do I can't control it. My head is spinning with thoughts but I can't sort them out so I guess that is all for tonight.