See Through Shattered Glass

“We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are.”―Anaïs Nin




I have been having an incredibly screwed up month. I am so tired of immaturity. I feel like I am completely maxed out and on e. I am now running on nothing but fumes and a prayer. If I don't get to recharge soon I am going to have a HUGE mental breakdown on the highway of this shitty life. I am seriously so exhausted that I can barely see straight. I just want two days of relaxing, quiet, no drama, and some sleep. It would be wonderful.


When I came out of treatment they gave me a "plan" of things I could and could not do. Life has a way of not letting those two sides be just two different sides and instead they tangle together until you are not quite sure what to do anymore. I have no more strength in me to fight anyone anymore. I just honestly can't do it. I feel like I have been so helpful and kept my mouth shut in situations that normally I would never but all is open now. There is only so much one person can take. I am going to blow up soon and it will be UGLY! I have so much repressed anger that it might be a little scary.


I am so beyond exhausted I can barely keep my eyes open and when they are I can't focus at all. I am so spacey because my mind is on complete overload. I really need some peace to happen soon. I wish that evil woman and her boyfriend would just move out already. They are the biggest pains in everyones ass. I have been trying for way too many years and I am not going to be their punching bag anymore. I have not done anything to them and yet I am the one that gets blamed for everything. Oh well, just another negative thing I can boot out of my life. I don't need negativity or drama and I am certainly not getting time to focus and work on myself. I am starting to feel like I am drowning again. THIS IS ALL WAY TOO MUCH! I feel like I am going crazy. I just need to keep remembering that what they keep accusing me of are the things they see wrong with themselves. That wont change that fact that i wont speak to either one of them but maybe it will give me an oz of very much needed peace.