Trichotillomania

I joined some Trichotillomania support groups on facebook today. I didn't even know they had any but one has over 700 members. It was relieving knowing that I was not alone in this but at the same time scared the living shit out of me because so many people had to shave their heads just to control their behaviors :( and seeing how long people have struggled with it and hearing their stories. It is empowering but at the same time scares me because I never realized how back my own problem was until I took a picture of the top of my head and posted it in the group. Looking at it was the most horrific thing of my life and now every strand I pull makes me feel disgusting so I have been a big ball of emotional mess today. Kind of just want to cry and scream but I am keeping it together. I never post any pictures of myself because I want to keep this anonymous but this was the picture that I posted in the group.






It makes me so mad because I have overcome so much but this seems so impossible! One day I hope to look back on all of this and have it just be a chapter in my book. I just fear since my mom has it too that it maybe not happen. :(