"The more I see, the less I know for sure."-John Lennon
I don't really know what I want to say today. I am surely not looking forward to my redundant ass appointment tomorrow. Two hour of something I have already done, with someone who has a bad ass attitude isn't exactly my idea of a worth while time. This dumb bitch better have a better attitude in my appointment or she will see just how open minded I can become. She had a very nasty attitude with my little sister and I wont take that crap. I think it is stupid that I am having another psychiatrist appointment a week from when I had my last one. I have only been on my medication since Sunday night. If she changes them I think I might freak out a little bit. I really wish I could have kept the psychiatrist I had before. It is so stupid to have to go tell one person after another then same shitty ass life story.
I bet you can tell how oh so excited I am about it. I just think its dumb, I just want and saw one last Tuesday now I have to go again because I have a new one. AH. Holy moly, seriously people. Maybe they can be less retarded and give me like migraine pills for my freaking every day headache I have. If they don't I really think I need to go to the doctors because having a migraine everyday is just not good.
Emotionally and physically I am still super exhausted. I don't know if my medication is at the proper dose but I also wont be able to tell for at least two-three more weeks or at least that is what I am guessing. I have no idea honestly. Things are still foggy and blended and overwhelming. I still feel like I am going to go in a huge manic freak out every time there are more then two people in a room with me. I have been just trying to stay hopeful. I am not sure if it is working but I am trying and like my therapist said last Friday, I need to be using my affirmations daily. The most important one being that every small step is still a big achievement. I have to work on that this week. Finding which one's do and do not work for me. It was my assignment for the week. I also have to do some homework, I haven't even started on this weeks and I have my finals to take Saturday at the latest.
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