Damned

For the last 24 hours I have done full mommy mode and it is way too much way too fast! I honestly just want to punch a wall. I had both kids crying in sync for more then 2 hours with a migraine. It is hard not getting a break from your kids all at once when you were used to it. When you were used to one day of quiet and just you and your husband. We don't get that anymore. We don't get a period of time where we don't feel obligated.

I may not be taking care of them but even when I don't they are still around, I hear every scream, every yell, everything. To make it all harder I am in the house now which means I truly hear everything at full power. I feel really overwhelmed like someone chucked me in a shark tank. I don't mind doing more but doing this much all of a sudden in the last week even in the times I can't handle it is way more then I can do right now.

I feel like my head is spinning out of control. Too much change way too fast. Moving, not having therapy, cranky unhappy adjusting kids, mommy mode, full time school, trying to heal my marriage and everything else plopped down on my plate. I feel like thanksgiving dinner with way too many guests :((. I haven't even adjusted to my current life and now I am thrown back into a different one, it's different but at the same time the same thing I've been trying to change.

I feel like there is no happy medium. I love my kids with all my heart and when they are good it is one thing but I just don't have the patience for both of them being cranky or needy at the same time. I was fine up until about 4 when kids started none stop screaming. I feel like I don't know what to do, I am damned if I do and damned if I don't.