4 months

I feel like i have been cheating because i havent been faithful in writing these, I feel terrible that I have no been as dedicated as i should be to it. Things have been up and down but I am trying to remember that this is just the beginning. I am at my 4 month mark and it seems as if today it is just a number. I am not bound down by this number i should be further i should be better shoulda woulda coulda. I am still fighting and i think that is what matters to me. Everyday has been a fight even just to get out of bed and i do mean fight i go rounds with myself about whether or not to even leave my bedroom but i am trying. Everyday is a new day and today i tried. Thats all that matters.