To Love Everlasting

Last night ended up to be not such a bad night. It was actually a lot of fun and we laughed which we all have not done in a long time. Ma, me, my husband, and my little sister went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant. I was pretty sad that I did not even get carded when I ordered a drink. That sucked! I was pretty disappointed. It was nice though, we were all able to have an evening without the kids, we got to just be laid back. We all decided to put all of our problems aside to just have a good night. We did a lot of laughing. This is something that hasn't happened in a very long time!







again I will now separate my post with an earmuff section **adult content**


In this situation it has brought out a lot of good things in my marriage. Not because they are fixed but because they are being worked on with more effort that has ever been out in before. We have been working on communication, honesty, expressing our feelings, our passion, our love. I feel like for the first time in a long time that we have started to get our passion back. Our passion had been fading ever since we had children. I think it is because there are so many "guidelines" people give you when your a parent and as you know I am miss co-dependent and feel this magnetic need to fit every guideline there is. Our sex life has been this raw, intense, passionate thing that we haven't had in almost two years. In my heart I have always been madly in love with him but everyday it feels like I am falling in love with him over and over again. I love that. It makes me feel like at least one thing in my life is starting to be pieced together.


I have appreciation for the fact that no matter what we have gone through we have always been side by side in the fact that we both know we are in this forever. We made commitments to each other, and even if we are wrong at times we will work it out. Marriage is this sacred amazing thing and I think it should always be. I am deeply in love with my husband and I need to have more faith in my life and myself. As I start having those two things, it seems like my marriage starts to get better. My whole world is still rocking and confusing and emotional but I am fighting and will continue to fight. That is all I can do. Live one day at a time and try and learn how to live rather then survive. I do not want to just survive I want to enjoy these amazing things that I have around me.