Who are you to judge the life I live? I know I’m not perfect and do not
live to be; but before you start pointing fingers, make sure your hands
are clean. ~ Bob Marley
I had a pretty good first say back at work. Everyone was very nice and
welcoming. It was a bit overwhelming at first trying to catch up to
almost three months of information but it was like riding a bike, you
just don't forget it. My shift got switched to an earlier time so that
in itself made my day bright. I was still unable to get a hold of my
therapists office to find out where we go from here. My night ended
badly as almost all of them do by the details of my family's
thanksgiving in which one member of the party decided it would be
appropriate to talk shit about my parenting in front of my children.
Apparently I am unhealthy to my children because my daughter likes to
sleep, mind you she sleeps through the entire night. We do not force her
to be awake all day long when she sleeps fine, and as per my children's
pediatrician, if they need sleep; let them sleep. I don't see how
depriving my children of sleep would make me a better mother. I have hit
this wall tonight of pure sickness. I am so fed up with everyone's
judgments. No one has to agree with my parenting or frankly even like my
parenting, but I think it is absolutely pathetic to sit around all day
and bash other people's preferences. It truly is just a matter of
opinion. I do not walk around telling everyone else how to raise their
children or what they are doing "wrong." I do not beat my children, I do
not use drugs, I'm not an alcoholic and rarely ever drink of which is
never in front of my children, I feed them, love them, guide them, play
with them, bath them. They are not dirty or malnourished, rude or
unkind. I am in no way a perfect parent and there is not a single person
on this planet that is, but I am having a hard enough time trying to
convince myself that I am worthy of happiness, love, and care. I do not
understand why people are purposefully hurtful-I have never done
anything to any of them. I have never once called them out on their
wrong doings or their parenting choices because it is not only none of
my business but not my right to judge. In this endless journey that I
have begun to walk I am finding out who I am, who I am not, who my
friends are and who are not, and fighting my way through my conclusion
that at least from these last few days...I walk this journey alone.
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